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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
 Posted - 11 May 2007 : 15:06:42
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Anybody out there fancy a double Baileys? 
Get in touch quick,'cos you don't know what you're missing! 
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 12 May 2007 : 20:08:59
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Larry my old M8,...don't forget to log on tomorrow, 'cos I've got a treat for you.
Dead on here, innit!!! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 14 May 2007 : 14:23:05
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Nobody to talk to.
I think the time has come for me to say goodbye.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 14 May 2007 : 19:50:33
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Perhaps I'll BCNU L8R.....who knows! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2007 : 17:02:33
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It's L8R than you think, so I'd better buzz off and have a tot of ...you know what.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 17 May 2007 : 20:56:00
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I do hope they find little Madeleine soon.
It's unbelievable that some evil moron, or morons could kidnap a little 4 year old child.
I pray each day for the little soul. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 18 May 2007 : 13:05:36
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I'm lonely,...and fed-up!
I don't know what, (if anything,) I've done to deserve this.
I've a good mind to go away, and never come back! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 19 May 2007 : 12:40:47
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I log on here, hoping to find that someone HAS really been able to post at last. But no such luck,...if you listen carefully you'll be able to hear the tears dropping off my cheeks on to my keyboard.
Ah well, I'm going to push off now...with my bottle of Baileys for company, to watch those bloomin' millionaires kicking a bag of wind around a big field.
See you later.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2007 : 17:11:33
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Larry,...my young mate. 'Ow're iw doin pal?
Go get your glass quick. Ready? OK hold it still now, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb. Only a single today Larry, 'cos I'm running short at the moment.
Innit good that crazynance is able to post eh! I've asked her to let me know how she managed it, so when I hear from her I'll e-mail you to tell you how to get posting again.
Take care M8.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 20 May 2007 : 19:25:03
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I'm shouting this, out loud...PAULINE. Where are you?
Please get in touch. Not hearing from you makes us very concerned as to your well-being.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 21 May 2007 : 17:11:43
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I've just had to log in here again, about 10 minutes ago. Just the same as before,....user name, then password, and finally the big coded letters.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 22 May 2007 : 17:59:17
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Hey! Listen to me Robert. I've just got your e-mail and I answered it right away,....then just as I clicked on here about a minute ago, it was rejected AGAIN.
My patience is bloomin' exhausted now. That Hotmail is your enemy M8.
Ho! Ho! Ho!  |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 22 May 2007 : 19:23:21
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Ooooooooh! Iss quiet on 'ere innit.
I wish crazynance would hurry-up, and tell me how she wangled her way back on here, to post.
Think I'll brag her up.....These Welsh/Canadians are clever, aren't they!
That should do it....She'll be on here like a dose of salts now. I hope.
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 22 May 2007 : 19:33:20
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Bob,
How about letting me know if you've received all those e-mails I sent, by the Tesco address. |
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crazynance
Intermediate Member
Canada
372 Posts |
Posted - 22 May 2007 : 23:31:35
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A dose of salts? Really... ;)
If you are getting the username and password each time you try to post, it's because you're not logged in to the actual site: see top of page.
Mind you, it said I had a username/password error again. So who knows? Not the owls. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 24 May 2007 : 14:53:24
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Oooooooh! It's complicated, innit!
But Bob can always get Rover to help with getting him able to post again,...I think he relies a lot on Rover.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 24 May 2007 : 22:42:39
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Bob,
I'm still waiting for an answer. Have you received all those e-mails I've sent you, via your Tesco address?
If you haven't received them, then it means I have been wasting my time,...and I shall go stark raving mad, and drink a whole 1 litre bottle of Baileys in one swig.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 25 May 2007 : 22:58:45
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What's going on, I wonder. Why am I having to shave twice in a bloomin' day. My beard is growing twice as fast as it used to.
Ho! Ho!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
 Posted - 26 May 2007 : 17:07:54
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Oooooh! Iss dead quiet on here, aye. It's so quiet I can hear Larry bleating, down there in Pemb's.
After me giving you crazynance's instructions on how to post again, I hope you'll be successful, 'cos I'm slowly breaking my heart, 'onest injun!.....Did you used to say that when you were kids..'onest injun. It was a popular saying in my young days, when you really did want people to believe you, even when you spun a 'white lie.'
Ho! Ho! Ho!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
 Posted - 27 May 2007 : 16:27:50
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Larry,
'ow're iw doin M8? Bit on the cool side today innit.
Well, I hope you'll have a go at clicking this and clicking that, like crazynance did,...and wouldn't it be great if you were able to post once again eh!
I expect Bob will have a go as well,...if he sobers up enough to tickle his keyboard.
Still no word from Pauline, so I haven't got a clue as to why she hasn't got in touch.
I've run right out of Baileys today, but I'll have some for you next Sunday, OK.
Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm spoiling you, aye. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 27 May 2007 : 18:32:12
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So-long!...I've had enough. I'm off! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 30 May 2007 : 20:27:15
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When I was young and able
And in my stable gay,
My master used to feed me
With the best of corn and hay.
But, now I'm growing feeble
My courage is but small,
And I'm obliged to eat the grass
That grows about the wall.
I sometimes feel down, and lonely, and feeble, like the little chap above, 'cos when he's eaten all the grass, it takes weeks and weeks for it to grow again,...like this site, it might be ages before it is running full speed again,.....if atall.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 19:52:09
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Not a soul to be seen,...or heard.
WHY??? |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 02 June 2007 : 15:14:42
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Well, no-one seems to be able to post on here, except crazynance and me, so I suppose I'll just have to tell a few jokes....One joke a day.
A witness was asked in court by defence counsel. What distance were you from the accident when it happened?
Thiry-one feet, four and a quarter inches he replied.
Nonsense, said the barrister. How can you possibly be as precise as that?
Well, I knew some damn fool would ask me, said the witness,...so I measured it.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 02 June 2007 : 15:43:39
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Larry, my young M8, I won't be here tomorrow 'cos I'm off to Newcastle Emlyn to visit my granddaughter and her family, so I won't be back in time to see you.
I've just had a new 1 litre bottle of, you know what, so go get your glass quick. Hold it still now OK! Blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb. I can spare a double today, so sip it slowwwwwwwwwly now, smoooooooth innit! That would knock you back about a tenner in a La-Di-Da pub in Clarbeston Road.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Have you tried pressing the Post New Reply button, and then look at the top of the page to see if you are asked to enter username and password and those bloomin' code letters? Try clicking for a new
password if possible, try clicking every blinkin' thing. Ho! Ho!
Worth a try innit! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 03 June 2007 : 21:41:33
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Ooooooooh! I've had a cracking day at my granddaughter's home today.
We've only just arrived home after a lovely break from the norm that we are used to here in our pad.
My granddaughter's husband has a large farming industrial machinery business, which has been in the family for over a century, so it was very interesting to learn the whys and wherefores of that side of life. He also has a love of snooker, and has many trophys he has won in local competitions, so he has a full size table in one section of the house. So Fussy challenged him to a set. Ho! Ho! Ho! For all my double vision, I managed to pot 3 reds, a black, and a yellow. Not bad for an old codger like me, eh!
Doesn't seem like anyone has been able to post then. Dead as a doornail on here, as usual.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 04 June 2007 : 15:28:01
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Having run out of petrol on a remote country road, a motorist pushed his car painfully up a very steep hill with his wife at the wheel.
When they got to the top, she said...that was a steep hill, darling. I'm sure the car would have rolled back on you, if I hadn't kept the brakes on.
Ho! Ho! Ho!  |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 04 June 2007 : 16:15:54
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Now,...that is WEIRD.
I clicked 3 Big Smiles at the end of my above joke, and 3 Big Smiles were DEFINITELY there after I posted it, 'cos I checked it.
But now,...it shows one Big Smile and 2 Evils.
SOMEONE is tampering with things on here?????? |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 04 June 2007 : 16:27:52
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I think someone on here has got a problem. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 05 June 2007 : 15:19:08
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As you can see by my little icon above, I keep digging my foot in and looking round, but it's as dead as a doornail on here.
A drunk staggered out of the Full Moon shortly after closing time and lurched across the carpark looking for his car. As he fumbled with his keys, a policeman approached him and said,...you're not thinking of driving home like that, are you, sir?
'Course I am, the drunk mumbled. I'm in no fit state to walk.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
I wonder who the drunk was???
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 07 June 2007 : 21:30:17
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Well, what a carry-on, eh!!!
I'm back on the warpath. What the hell's been going on today, I'll never know. It's been WEIRD, and I ain't kidding!
So, Bob you better keep trying with your original password. My original password was rejected 7 times today. So I decided to have ONE last shot at it, and it clicked.
I'm off for a bit of suppies now, but I'll be back. Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 07 June 2007 : 22:29:34
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I'll finish off with another car joke.
A policeman stopped a motorist one night in Manchester. Would you mind blowing into this bag sir, he said.
What on earth for? protested the motorist, I haven't been drinking.
No, I know, said the policeman,...its just that my chips are hot.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 08 June 2007 : 21:16:17
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Well, I'm not kidding,...yesterday was the most hillarious day I have ever experienced on here. How on earth could all those thousands of messages...going back to 2003,...have appropriate smilies for the particular message. For instance, if the message was a cheerful one it would have this [:)[:)[:) at the end, and if the message was a sort of sad one, it would have [:([:([:( at the end. And don't forget, there were bloomin' thousands of them. All this happened when it appeared that Forumco were updating the site during the day. Then, at about 8 o'clock when I tried my password for the 8th time and was successful ('cos I had been unable to log-in all day) the thousands of smilies had ALL disappeared, and the site was back to normal. I really thought I had been dreaming, because it was soooooooo WEIRD.
And there were a 'variety' of smilies as well as those I mentioned above, like this... and there were a hell of a number of this one [8
Ho! Ho! Ho! Perhaps Polty escaped from his hideout in Solva, and decided to have a go at us again.
Todays joke:
Garage mechanic: The trouble is your battery, madam. It's flat.
Lady driver: Oh dear,...what shape should it be then?
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 09 June 2007 : 14:23:47
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It's bloomin weird, innit.
Bob is able to log-in, but not able to post, and it looks as if it's the same for Larry and The Gravedigger.
But then, crazynance also couldn't post at the beginning either but after she applied for a new password, she was able to post.
So I think it would be a good idea if everyone applied for a change of password, to see what happens then.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 09 June 2007 : 14:44:16
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Mrs Collins parked her car in a side street near Selfridges and went off shopping. On her return, she saw that someone had crashed into her car, breaking both headlights and leaving a nasty gash along one side. Stuck under the windscreen wiper was a note which read: My car hit yours as I was trying to park it. There were several witnesses and they all saw me writing this note. I'll bet they thought I was leaving my name and address so you could get in touch with me. Hard luck!
Ooooooooh! The punishment I would like to dish out to that moron,
I couldn't print on here.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 10 June 2007 : 11:47:09
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Hi Larry, my young mate.
Well, there's been some funny goings-on here this last week M8.
Just have a peep at some of the postings. WEIRD!
Bob and The Gravedigger and others have still not been able to post, so you are not alone on that score, but it might be sorted out soon,...hope so anyway.
Anyway, have a tot on me. Go get your glass. OK hold it steady now, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb. A double Baileys. Now, take your time, sip it slowwwwwwwwly make it last half an hour, it'll raise your 'spirits'....good old Irish Whiskey. Ooooooh, iss lovely innit. That would knock you back about a tenner in a La-Di-Da pub in Stepaside. Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
Keep trying to post Larry, re-register and try for a new password, to see what happens. But it's a bit awkward for you to do very much, innit. Let's hope it will sort itself out in the end.
Take care M8.
You don't need your fur coat this weather,...take it off. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 10 June 2007 : 20:38:26
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Bob,
I've had e-mails from Larry and The Gravedigger today, and they are both bloomin' fed-up with not being able to post. I still say, it's best to re-register and try for a new password.
I can't see any other way to solve the snag.
I wonder if crazynance is still able to post, after the shambles of last Thursday? |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 10 June 2007 : 20:46:26
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Policeman, to man lying in the gutter. You're drunk!
Man: Oh no I'm not! I've found a parking space and I've sent the wife home to get the car.
Ho! Ho!....Liar! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 12 June 2007 : 17:21:29
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Not quite so 'ot today, is it,...cooled off a bit.
Oooooh, I forgot to post on here yesterday. Must have been 'cos I was too busy answering Bob's e-mails,.....and don't forget, I had a few chores to do as well,...oh no, I don't just sit here in front of this gadget, I hoover, and, and, and, and I sweep the path along the little garden, and, and feed the birds, and, and, and, and wash the dishes, and, and, and read the daily paper. And if anything atall bothers me, when reading the paper...it's the outrageous weekly wage paid to these lads, for kicking a bag of wind around a fairly large field for a couple of hours a week. The latest one (after a transfer to a Spanish club) is expected to be £140.000.
By comparison then,...brilliant surgeons who carry out extremely delicate life-saving operations throughout their career, should be paid somewhere in the region of a £1.000.000. a day.
And those miners who slogged their hearts out, in the coalmines back in the dark days, deserved a damn site more than their measly £3 per week,...I would say...by comparison £140.000. per week.
Anybody disagree?........Of course not!...ol' Fussy knows his onions!
That was a common saying, back in the dark ages. Anybody gifted in a particular job would be termed as,...'he knows his onions.'
Ho! Ho! Ho!
First one (except crazynance) to post a message on here after this recent glitch, will get 2 double Baileys. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 12 June 2007 : 17:52:12
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A police motorcyclist waved down a motorist on a country road and said, Excuse me, sir, a lady claiming to be your wife says she fell out of your car about a mile back.
Thank God! said the motorist. I thought I'd gone deaf!
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crazynance
Intermediate Member
Canada
372 Posts |
Posted - 13 June 2007 : 02:38:56
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Hello, Fussy my friend [ and all you lurkers who can't post],
I've been a very busy writer: I'm almost up to 14,000 words. Since I'm aiming for 50,000, I'm over 20% done! Squeee!
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crazynance
Intermediate Member
Canada
372 Posts |
Posted - 13 June 2007 : 02:39:55
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| I used the post reply function for that, as I can't sign in normally. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 13 June 2007 : 20:11:54
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Ooooooh! You're doin' well,...14,000 words,...think you'll polish it off by Christmas? And get it published by the Spring, so that you can make enough cash to fly across the Atlantic and visit all us hopefulls. We are still encountering difficulties with the site.
BTW, what do you mean...you can't log-in?
Things are getting more mysterious by the minute. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 14 June 2007 : 16:13:05
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Let's break the monotony.
Last week my wife invented a completely new driving manoeuvre called...an O-turn. She said, it can be used when you're making a U-turn and you change your mind.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 14 June 2007 : 16:34:33
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Had some lovely showers of rain today,...freshened up the atmosphere and, certainly livened up a blackbird here, just outside my window, he's singing an aria and doesn't seem to have a care in the world. He's a right old songster...My favourite bird!
Well, I'm wracking my brains out, trying to figure out some way of getting this site back to normal, but I'm afraid I'm bloomin' stumped, so far anyway. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 14 June 2007 : 19:12:47
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Oooooooh! Just seen the news on tele'..heavy rain for parts of Wales tonight folks, so beware, 'cos it could be flooding as well.
I hope someone will come up with an answer to our posting problem, soon, 'cos I can see me getting more frustrated, which will lead me to drink more tots of Baileys than I ought, and I don't need much encouragement I can tell you!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 14 June 2007 : 20:57:06
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Statistics show that the part of the car that causes most accidents is the nut that holds the steering wheel.
You don't have to pay cash for this car, said the salesman. You can do it on the instalment plan - you know - pay-as-you-drive.
Well, alright, said the old fellow. But I must warn you. I'm a very slow driver, I only drive at 15 mph. And I only use the car about once a month.
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 16 June 2007 : 16:04:04
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Why is one side of your car painted Blue and the other side Red?
If I'm ever in an accident, it'll confuse the hell out of the witnesses.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 16 June 2007 : 16:16:50
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Here's a special one for Bob:
How can I get rid of that awful noise in the back of the car?
Make your mother-in-law take the bus.
Ho! Ho! Ho! How's 'at Bob! |
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1906 Posts |
Posted - 16 June 2007 : 18:36:59
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I cam pots muy joek noe
King Solomon Trial
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.
"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they began arguing until the King called for silence.
"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half."
"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed.
"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.
"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the one TRULY worthy to be his mother-in-law."
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 16 June 2007 : 22:15:34
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WA HOO WA HOO WA HOO WA HOO, YAB A DAB A DOO!
YIPPEE DOODLE DANDY.
How DID you manage it?????? |
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1906 Posts |
Posted - 16 June 2007 : 22:20:02
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I domt knoe Fyusuy / Ijyst treid agaim aas Iev benn doonig eevrey dauy fir wekks amd suudemluy Ii wss im  |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 16 June 2007 : 22:35:42
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Ooooooh, That IS weird innit!
I had a bloomin' feeling that it was something trivial.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 10:32:55
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Bob,
All this excitement calls for a celebration, so I nipped down the road and bought a bottle of Guinness, so go get your tankard quick. Hold it steady now - that is if you are sober, - right, here goes, gnosh, gnosh, gnosh, gnosh, oooooh! It's a different sound to Baileys mun. I'm having a double 'you know what.'
Anyway, drink up M8, here's to you, the Mrs, your mother-in-law and your mother-in-law's sister.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1906 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 13:29:46
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hOoh thnaks Fuusuy m8 / I reeluy emjooeyd taht
Iem fellnig vrey haapuy tidauy soo heers anihter joek fior yuo
A man [whooes naem wsmt BOb} had been out for a 'few' drinks and was feeling
very 'happy', but when he stood up to leave the bar he fell flat on his face.
"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," he thought and he crawled outside.
After a few minutes he tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.
"Oh buggar it," he thought. "It's not far, I'll just crawl home."
The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep fast asleep.
"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she enquired of him.
"Uh, yes, I did as it happens " he said sheepishly. "But how did you know?"
"Because you left your wheelchair at the bar again." she replied
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 14:34:56
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Ho! Ho! Very funny. I'm bloomin shattered after getting up at 5.30 yesterday to go to Tescos, so I think I need a wheelchair too.
I see, you got Rover to type that for you. He's a clever ferret aye.
BTW, I've just done a count of the number of e-mails that passed between us since the start of the trouble we've had about the bloomin' posting problem....166, including about a dozen or so from Larry and The Gravedigger.
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1906 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 14:49:30
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Noo Roevr didmt tyep ut = I i juts cyt amd paesteed yt / Iem noyt datf yuo knoe  |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 14:55:03
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Larry and TG,
If you still have a problem posting,...go to the very bottom of the page, and try using the 'Quick Reply' message section, and after typing your message, click on the 'Submit now' button to see if that works.
You've probably noticed that Bob is back on the warpath. |
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crazynance
Intermediate Member
Canada
372 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 15:42:22
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I dunno Fussy, but I was able to sign in properly today! Although I have been using reply to topic and then adding my username, password, and the verification code.
Does this mean we'll see Pauline soon as well?
Fussy- how come you had to get up at 5.30 to go to Tesco? Is it in Cardiff or sommat?
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 17:25:33
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Yeah, I think you may be right there crazynance, it does look as if a little bit of magic has suddenly appeared from out of the blue. 
We make the trip to Tescos every fortnight, early in the morn, around about 5.30, because by that time most of the fresh produce has been shelved ready for the day's business which we assume starts about 7.30. And there's tons of room to push the old trolley around.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Anything for an easy life, eh!
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Larry Lamb
Senior Member
1249 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 17:34:33
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I'm up at that time every day m8s,but I would'nt call what I do an easy life. I'm ready for my  again by the time all the good stuff comes on the telly so I miss most of it
Wish Pauline would come back,I miss all her stories. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 18:57:56
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A woman driver had her hand stuck out of the window and after following her for a mile and a half, the fellow in the car behind pulled up alongside and shouted, for God's sake, lady, if you're going to turn - turn!
She said, Who's turning? I'm drying my nails.
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MrsGemini
New Member
United Kingdom
51 Posts |
 Posted - 17 June 2007 : 19:09:00
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Hello Folks, I hope you don't mind me joining in? Had a day in Cardiff, just went down for lunch, but come back quite exhausted.  I could do with a few glasses of Baileys too!!! |
 P K Sutton |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 17 June 2007 : 19:31:42
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Mrs Gemini,
You are just in time, as I'm just going to run my grandson home, to Ammanford.
You're lucky, I bought a 1 litre bottle of Baileys in Tescos yesterday morning at 6 o'clock, So, go get your glass quick. OK, hold it steady now 'cos I can't afford to spill any of it. Ready! Blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb. That's a double Baileys you've got there, sip it slowwwwwwwwly now, make it last half an hour, smooooooooth innit! That would knock you back about a tenner in a La-Di-Da pub in Mountain Ash.
Ho! Ho! Ho!...I'm spoiling you already, aye.
You might hear from Bob later. I hope you will be able to read his messages, 'cos his typing is atrocious.
Hope you had a good day in Cardiff. I haven't been there for, oh, about 25 years.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 18 June 2007 : 19:22:32
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Signs:
On the back of a large lorry.
PLEASE DON'T HUG ME - I'M GOING STEADY.
Street Sign:
FOR THAT RUN-DOWN FEELING, WHY NOT TRY JAY-WALKING?
Outside a car wrecker's dump:
RUST IN PEACE.
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The Gravedigger
Advanced Member
576 Posts |
Posted - 18 June 2007 : 23:39:35
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A man is standing over a gravestone sobbing and crying 'Oh, if only you had lived, if only you had lived.'
The gravedigger comes up and asks, 'Is your wife in there?' to which the man replies 'No, my wife's first husband.'
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4609 Posts |
Posted - 19 June 2007 : 13:53:40
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HO! HO! HO! Very funny TG! |
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SOS.
