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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
 Posted - 15 March 2007 : 17:05:22
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woss 'appnin then.....'ave iw all emigrated or something?
Magistrate: And how exactly did you come to hit the telegraph pole?
Lady motorist: Would you believe...self defence?
A family man took his wife and mother-in-law for a drive in the country. For two hours, all he got was back seat advice and in the end, he couldn't take any more of it. Turning to his wife, he yelled,..look here - who's driving this car - you or your mother?
Policeman: Did you notice the licence number of the car that hit you madam?
Lady: No, I didn't - everything happened too fast. But I did notice that the woman who was driving it was wearing a two-piece navy-blue outfit lined with red silk, a cream silk high-necked blouse, and a white pill-box hat with a bow at the back.
Ho! Ho! Ho! It's being cheerful that keeps me going!  |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 16 March 2007 : 14:30:09
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Nice day again,...but still a bit nippy, innit.
Well, I've had another peep around my back, but there's not a sausage to be seen anywhere, so after I've had a word 'with myself' I'll buzz off for a tot. 
Back later. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 16 March 2007 : 20:53:04
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Well, it's got to be...hello, and ta-ta I'm afraid.  |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 17 March 2007 : 11:15:29
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And it's hello, and ta-ta again.
But I might pop in later, just in case we suddenly get 20 or 30 postings which need answering.
Ho! Ho! Ho!  |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 17 March 2007 : 20:44:57
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Think I'll take a holiday,...a Mediterranean cruise would be nice.
Put the flags out,...the Welsh boys won a match at last. Only just missed getting a nice wooden spoon.
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 21 March 2007 : 16:22:35
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woss goin on, I wonder?
There appears to be a dodgy atmosphere around here recently??????
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 21 March 2007 : 21:38:48
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Ooooooh! Bloomin' cold innit. Or is it ME, my blood is thinner now I suppose, so I might be feeling the slightest sharp breeze more than the average youngster. Ho! Ho!
Where are you Bob? Get up from that blinkin' cellar mun. Sober up a bit and hit those keys, or get Rover to hit them for you,...he's a damn good typist. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 March 2007 : 14:28:31
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I've looked back several times, but I can't see or hear a single thing.
So, I'll get on with the odd jobs I've got to do, before the weather gets too hot. I hate working in the summer heat.
Will look in again later. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 March 2007 : 21:12:44
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Mechanic: I've found the trouble, lady. You've got a short circuit in the ignition.
Lady driver: How much will it cost to lengthen it?
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 March 2007 : 21:17:27
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Looks like I might as well buzz off and pour myself a tot.
Toodlepip.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 23 March 2007 : 22:02:08
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'ow're iw doin' Fussy?
Not very well I'm afraid. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have Liz and Katie, and, of course my Baileys.
Think I'll book a flight to Dublin, 'cos I think I've got more friends there, than I have here.
I'll pop in again tomorrow to see if I strike lucky.
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 24 March 2007 : 14:51:38
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This is an SOS. I'm in a spot of bother...I was enjoying myself in my pedalo, when suddenly I was distracted by a magpie who took a liking to my glass of Baileys, which caused me to lose my balance. I am now in deep water and hanging on for dear life. It's a good-job I'm in our bathroom and not in some swirling waters out in the wilds somewhere.
Anyone out there willing to help me?
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1905 Posts |
 Posted - 20 June 2007 : 16:16:11
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Yuoer DAAFT yuo aer  |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 20 June 2007 : 17:29:01
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Hey, aaf a mo now, I'm not taking insults like that, lying down. 
Just because you are able to post again, doesn't mean to say that you can take liberties and call me daft, oh no!
No wonder your mother-in-law has to put the pressure on you,...it's as clear as a pikestaff now mun.
I might meet up with her one day M8, and if and when I do, I'll let her know a few home truths about her son-in-law.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Wait till she learns about your gallivanting in Ireland, and those trips in a blinkin' helicopter.
And there are a few more home truths too,...oh yes.
Daft indeed!!!....bloomin' insulting I say.
Ho! Ho! Ho! The truth will out one day!!! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 20 June 2007 : 17:49:34
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Hey, what about our tenor from Port Talbot then, eh! He'll be in the money from now on, that's for sure, and so will little six year old Connie.
It's a breath of fresh air innit, to have a touch of the music of yesteryear. A nice change from all the screams and howls of the present day pop stuff (oooooooh, I'll probably cop it for that last remark.)  |
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1905 Posts |
Posted - 20 June 2007 : 18:06:01
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| Weel Fuusuy uf yuo thimk yuoev gpt aa peddaalo im yuoer baht amd maagpeis im teh baahtromm yuo muts bwe eihteer datf oor drumk HAar=harr |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 20 June 2007 : 18:12:47
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I thought I was going to have a hot pastie for tea, but I was wrong. I had a homemade pizza,...the first one Liz has attempted.
Full marks to Lzzie, it was tasty, 'cos there was more body to it. It wasnn't skimpy like some pizzas you get in the supermarkets. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 20 June 2007 : 18:24:22
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My bath was in my secluded garden mun. It's a special outdoor bathroom I made from hundreds of empty Silver Spoon sugar bags, and sheets of calico. Remember? I asked you about 4 years ago if you would like a couple of hundred of them so that you could make a nice sleeping bag for yourself. Ooooh, they are tough little bags, aye!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 20 June 2007 : 18:29:48
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And....Don't go making fun of me,....or else, I really will make the journey to Aberdare and talk to your mother-in-law.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 20 June 2007 : 19:11:07
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People who can't pass their driving test quite often become car park attendants.
Could you see me across the road, constable?
'Madam, in that hat, I could see you a mile away.'
Traffic Cop: When I saw you coming down the road, madam, I thought to myself...65 at least.
Lady driver: It's this hat, officer. It makes me look a lot older.
A little giggle now and again does you the world of good!!! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 21 June 2007 : 16:01:08
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Carve Her Name with Pride.
Summary.
This wonderful film is based quite closely on the real life exploits of a young girl born in London…….Called upon at a time of national peril, she ‘did her duty’.
Violette Szabo is the daughter of an English father and a French mother, living in London in the early years of World War 2. She meets a handsome young French soldier in the park and takes him back, for the family Bastille day celebrations. They fall in love, and marry and have a baby girl when Violette
receives the dreaded telegram informing her of his death in North Africa. Shortly afterwards, Violette is approached to join the SOE (Special Operations Executive)…….Should she stay to look after her baby, or ‘do her duty’?
The code-poem used in the film was the real code-poem used by Violette Szabo while she was sending messages back from occupied France. The poem was written by ‘Leo Marks’(qv) who was a cryptographer for SOE and often used poems like this for agents to use.
The life that I have is all that I have, The life that I have is yours.
The love that I have of the life that I have Is yours and yours and yours.
A sleep I shall have, A rest I shall have Yet death will be but a pause.
For the peace of my years In the long green grass Will be yours and yours and yours.
As this thread is about my likes and dislikes, the above film was one of my favourites.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 21 June 2007 : 17:46:55
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The errors in the punctuation...commas, full stops and capital letters in the above poem, were purposely placed because they were a part of the 'secret code.' |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 June 2007 : 20:19:28
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A vicar parked his car on a busy street and left this note under the windshield wiper: I've circled the block for twenty minutes and if I don't park here, I shall be late for a very important appointment. Forgive our trespasses!
When he came back, he found a parking ticket with this note: I've circled this block for twenty years and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job...Lead us not into temptation!
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 June 2007 : 20:35:38
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I can't possibly not tell this one:
Policeman: Did you get the number of the car that knocked you down?
Pedestrian named Bob: No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law.
Policeman: How can you be so certain?
Pedestrian named Bob: I'd recognise that laugh anywhere.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 23 June 2007 : 15:35:28
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Ho! Ho! I note, there's been no response to my last joke. Not yet anyway!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 23 June 2007 : 21:09:45
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Policeman: Could I have your name sir?
Motorist: Constantine Abercrombie de Vere Beauchamp Ranelagh ffoulkes'
Policeman: (Putting away his notebook,) Well, don't let me catch you speeding again.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Probably like our Bob,...couldn't spell. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 24 June 2007 : 17:10:51
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Hi Larry,...my young M8. 'ow're iw doin pal?
Seeing that you've been slaving all week, it's time you had a tot of Baileys. Go get your glass quick. Hold it steady now OK! Blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb. That's a double you've got there Larry. Sip it slowwwwwwly now, make it last half an hour.
Smooooooooooth innit! That would knock you back about a tenner in a La-Di-Da pub in Amroth.
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Larry Lamb
Senior Member
1249 Posts |
Posted - 24 June 2007 : 17:29:18
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| Thanks Fussy m8, I need something to warm the cockles of my heart in this b****y awful weather I'm seriously thinking of giving up my line of work and getting a nice indoor job with central heating |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 25 June 2007 : 19:49:00
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A traffic cop stopped a motorist and said, How long have you been driving without rear lights?
The motorist got out of the car, and walked round the back and gave a groan of despair.
It's not all that serious said the policeman.
That's what you think replied the motorist.
Where's my flaming caravan?
Policeman (to speeding motorist he has just waved down.)
All right,...where's the Fire?
Motorist: In your eyes, officer - in your eyes! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 26 June 2007 : 14:19:17
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Oooooh! I love popcorn! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 26 June 2007 : 14:32:10
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And in my salad, I like my spring onions chopped very small,...with a sprinkling of sugar and vinegar on them.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 26 June 2007 : 17:38:16
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Ugh!!! I don't like tripe. |
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1905 Posts |
Posted - 26 June 2007 : 17:51:33
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I dom/t liek Osytres Amd I doont liek snials euhter  |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 26 June 2007 : 18:45:33
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Ugh! I don't like Oysters, nor Cockles, nor Prawns. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 26 June 2007 : 19:32:58
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Motorist: But, Your Worship, I was only doing 10 miles an hour.
Magistrate: How can you be sure of that?
Motorist: I was going to the dentist.
Motorist: But he ran into me, officer, and I definitely had the right of way! How can you say it was my fault?
Policeman: Because his father is the mayor, his brother is the Chief Constable, and I'm going out with his sister.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 27 June 2007 : 13:46:53
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Well, we've been lucky here - so far, with regard to flooding, but those poor folk in York's and elsewhere have had a horrendous time, haven't they.
What's it like in Aberdare, I wonder? |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 27 June 2007 : 20:14:31
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Ow're iw doin Fussy?
Not too bad like. Bit quiet on here innit! Still I'm used to talking to myself, so it's no surprise.
Saw a good film this afternoon, a good oldie,...The Bells of St Mary's, Bing Crosby and Ingrid Bergman. I still say that the good oldies of my young days would take some beating,...like Mrs Miniver, and Goodbye Mr Chips with Greer Garson and Robert Donat, and young John Mills, and Bogart and Bergman in Casablanca. And James Cagney in Each Dawn I Die.
I remember seeing those in The Rex, The Palladium and Aberdare Cinema.
The Rex is no more, but is The Palladium and Aberdare C still going?
Oooooooh, I bet there have been some changes in the old town since I was last there,..which was 1986 I think. |
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1905 Posts |
Posted - 27 June 2007 : 21:56:42
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| Di o yuo reembrer teh Cosuy / Iem npt vrey weel tidauy = I thimk iev cuahgt a coold frim aal tihs fliipimg raimn |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 28 June 2007 : 13:21:03
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Yeah,...course I remember the Cosy mun, but I don't remember going to watch a film there though,...but I might have. My memory is a little bit vague about those days. But I DO remember my regular visits to the Park Cinema every Saturday afternoon matinee in 1932/3, to see the serial of Flash Gordon's Trip to Mars, I guarantee I never missed that little weekly jaunt....I had 3 pence pocket money, 1 penny for the tram, 1 penny to go in, and 1 pennyworth of black-jack toffee.
Ho! Ho! Ho! They were GREAT days. I'd give up my Baileys to go back to those times.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 28 June 2007 : 13:27:27
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Sorry that you are not feeling too good Bob. Leave the Guinness alone, and try a nice hot honey and lemon M8. Do you good!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 28 June 2007 : 17:52:25
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Ho! Ho! It's happened again folks,...the laughing boy is back. He came through loud and clear yesterday evening, and again this afternoon....a sinister sounding laugh, slow and kind of threatening like. It goes like this,...Haaaa Haaaa Haaaaaaaaarrrr! 
Anybody else experienced this? Or perhaps it's some clever clogs on my ISP, having a bit of fun.
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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The Gravedigger
Advanced Member
576 Posts |
Posted - 28 June 2007 : 18:12:12
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| I expect Bob would rather have a nice hot toddy for his cold I'm not surprised he's caught a chill though, it's a wonder we haven't all come down with pneumonia with this ****** weather we're having |
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The Gravedigger
Advanced Member
576 Posts |
Posted - 28 June 2007 : 18:14:33
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Fussy m8, are you sure Pauline's poltergeist hasn't moved into that computer of yours ? |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 28 June 2007 : 19:55:00
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Ho! Ho! Ho! Yeah, hadn't thought of that. Could very well be a visit from Polty.
Perhaps it was Polty who created all the havoc on here recently. |
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The Gravedigger
Advanced Member
576 Posts |
Posted - 28 June 2007 : 20:04:01
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| Bob, when you're feeling fit enough to look in on us, I've posted a few jokes on the Giggles galore forum and one's specially for you to cheer you up |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 29 June 2007 : 18:43:24
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Well,...I've been worrrrrrking hard today folks. Odd jobs around the house, there's always something to tidy up, eh!
Oooooh, dead quiet on here innit! I wonder if our Bob is better. I hope you took my advice and took that honey and lemon M8. There's an article on honey in today's Daily Mail, and it confirms my solid confidence in the bees' product. It's got tremendous benefit for numerous body ailments,...so, think about it folks, when you are feeling down in the dumps. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 29 June 2007 : 19:21:11
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A visiting psychiatrist was about to get into his car outside the Mental Institution when he suddenly discovered that he had a puncture. He jacked up the car, removed the hub cap and the four wheel bolts; then he carefully placed the bolts in the hub cap. As he turned round, he accidentally stepped on it and the bolts rolled into the gutter and disappeared down a drain. Just as he was resigning himself to a 3 mile walk to the nearest garage, one of the inmates of the institution who had been watching in silence said, Why don't you take 1 bolt off the other 3 wheels and fix your wheel back with them. If you drive slowly and carefully, you should be able to get to the garage all right.
The psychiatrist said, That's brilliant! I find it hard to believe that you are mentally unbalanced.
Mentally unbalanced I may be, said the inmate. But I'm not a bloody fool!
Ho! Ho! Ho! That's one of my favourite jokes. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 30 June 2007 : 15:09:33
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Oooooh! It's emptying down here today, but it could be worse I suppose. I feel so sorry for those people in York's and elsewhere who've lost just about everything. And what about those who haven't got insurance! One hell of a worry I would say!
We made our way to Tescos this morning at 5.30 and it was teeming down, but we didn't get soaked 'cos as soon as we get out of the car we are under cover to enter the store, so it wasn't too bad.
We got the desiccated coconut Mrs Gemini, so I'm waiting for the 'cook' to perform now. Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 30 June 2007 : 15:35:29
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A lady was driving up a mountain in North Wales when she saw a sign by the side of the road: DRIVE CAREFULLY, THIS MEANS YOU.
Good heavens, she said to herself! How did they know I was coming this way.
A tourist who had lost his way in the wilds of southern Ireland, noticed a young fellow sitting on a gate and pulled up to ask the way.
Any idea where this road leads to? he asked.
It leads to my farm sorr, said the young man.
And where does it lead to in the other direction? asked the motorist.
Away from my farm sorr, said the Irishman.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 01 July 2007 : 15:04:53
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'ow're iw doin Larry, my young M8?....Oooooooh, this is lousy weather for you innit, hope you got a mac and a sou'wester 'cos you'll need them or you'll be drenched.
Bit nippy as well innit,...so I'd better pour you a tot of Baileys, so go get your glass. Hold it still now, here goes...only a single this week 'cos I forgot to get a bottle at Tescos yesterday, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb. sip it slowwwwwwwwl now, smoooooooth innit Larry.
Woss it like down your way then,...hope it's not bloomin' flooded like it is in York's and Worc's, but I wouldn't mind betting that it's pretty soggy in your part of the world.
Never mind M8, as I was telling Mrs Gemini you might have a late Indian summer in Sept' and Oct'. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 01 July 2007 : 15:23:32
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A MISTAKEN IMPRESSION.
A young couple about to be married were both looking at a house in the country. After satisfying themselves that it was suitable, they made their way home.
During the journey the young lady was very thoughtful, and put the question to her partner…‘did you notice any WC in the property?’ ‘No,’ replied her partner. ‘I will write to the owner asking for details as to where it is located.’
The old landlord did not understand the meaning of WC and came to the conclusion that it was intended to mean Wesleyan Chapel, and answered thus:-
Dear Sir,
‘I have pleasure in informing you that the WC is situated approximately 9 miles from the house, and is capable of holding 250 people. This is an unfortunate situation for you if you are in the habit of going regularly, but you will be glad to know that a great number of people take their lunch with them and make a day of it, while others who cannot spare the time go by car and arrive just in time. It will also be interesting for you to know that my daughter was married in the WC,…in fact it was there that she first met her husband. I remember the ceremony well, on account of the rush for seats.
There are two people on a seat, usually occupied by one. My brother has gone regularly since he was christened. Wealthy residents in the surrounding districts erected a bell over the WC, to be rung every time members entered. A bazaar is to be held soon, to provide funds for the purchase of plush seats, as the members are beginning to feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I are getting old now, and do not go as often as we would like. It is 6 years since we last went and it pains us very much, not to be able to go regularly.
Your’s faithfully,
A.N.Other.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Soooooo funny! I'm not sure if I'd posted the above on here before. I don't think so anyway.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 01 July 2007 : 15:32:20
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Larry,
Don't forget to look in page 3.
I didn't realise...this has shot to page 4 quicker than I thought. |
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Larry Lamb
Senior Member
1249 Posts |
Posted - 01 July 2007 : 19:16:18
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I'm here at last Fussy, bit later than usual and a bit bedraggled but I was determined to get here before it was time to turn round and go home again
This ****** weather is putting years on me though, everything out in the fields is being completely flattened (including me, LOL) and yesterday I drove past a wedding at a local church and I swear the bride had wellies on under her dresss!!! If it does'nt get better soon I'm emigrating |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 01 July 2007 : 19:20:34
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Ooooooh! No sign of Larry today,...hope he hasn't got stuck in the mud.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 01 July 2007 : 19:29:13
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Well, now would you believe it, there was no sign of Larry when I posted the above, about a minute or so ago, then all of a sudden he's there.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
And, of all things...Liz has just called me,...there's someone to see me, so I have to go.
Sorry Larry, see you next Sunday M8. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 04 July 2007 : 19:55:33
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Vicar to driving instructor after driving his car into a lamp-post. Well, here endeth the first lesson!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 05 July 2007 : 19:24:25
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'ow're iw doin' Fussy?
Well, I'm not quite sure whether to jump for joy, or feel kind of let down by the odd person in this funny old world of ours.
Talking to myself doesn't help that's for sure, and if I decide to watch the tennis...that doesn't help either 'cos they are not playing half of the time.
But, I think there's going to be a shock in the final of the men's tennis folks, so a little wager could reap rewards I think. I'm seriously considering putting this week's pension on a favourite of mine. If it fails to succeed,..I wonder if any of you lot would engage me to do odd jobs for you, like hoovering and running errands here and there. I wouldn't overcharge you...say, about £20 per job?
I'm sure Bob would be glad to donate a few quid to my cause, if I promised to teach him to spell.
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 06 July 2007 : 14:47:48
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BOO! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 06 July 2007 : 20:51:41
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Don't know if there's anyone around to read it,...but this is my last joke on here.
A motorist walked into a car accessory shop and said to the girl behind the counter,...I want something small and funny-looking to put on my car as a mascot.
Dad! the girl shouted. You're wanted!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 08 July 2007 : 15:44:04
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Larry,
Can't spend much time on here today,...we've got 5 bloomin' visitors.
So, rather than let you down M8 I've just got time to pour you a tot, so go get your glass,...ready, OK blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb. That's a double Baileys Larry, sip it slowwwwwwwwly now, make it last an hour. Smooooooooooth innit! That would knock you back about a tenner in a La-Di-Da pub in Manorbier.
Weather's improved for you M8.
See you next week.
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Larry Lamb
Senior Member
1249 Posts |
Posted - 08 July 2007 : 18:08:53
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Thanks Fussy m8,I need something to warm me up,it's blooming freezing here today I thought after yesterday we might be in for a change in the weather at last but it looks as if I got my hopes up too soon,today started out damp and chilly and it has'nt improved much since.
You do'nt half get a lot of visitors there,we hardly ever see anybody out here. Mind you,like I said before that's because we're so far off the beaten track they ca'nt find us! Not that I'm complaining about that,I would'nt want a load of long-lost relatives suddenly turning up and ruining my one day off would I? It would never do if I could'nt drive down here for a natter with you lot every sunday LOL |
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Larry Lamb
Senior Member
1249 Posts |
Posted - 08 July 2007 : 18:24:06
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| Fussy,I'm racking my brains here now trying to remember ANY pub in Manorbier. I'm sure there must be one but me minds gorn a complete blank |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 08 July 2007 : 20:07:31
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Oooooooooh! you do surprise me Larry,....it's a BEAUTIFUL day here today M8, sunny and warm. That IS funny innit, 'cos you are only a spit away from here. Well, perhaps a little bit more than a spit, say a few clouts then!
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 10 July 2007 : 20:04:34
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Ooooooh! It's a bloomin' good job I didn't put all my pension money on that young Spaniard to become the Wimbledon champion, innit!
But, let's be fair,...it almost went 'to the wire' with a bit of luck he could easily have been the conquerer in the last 5 minutes of the match. OOOOOOOOOH!!! It was VERY, VERY close. If he'd served a couple of aces towards the end, it would have been...Goodnight Vienna for Mr Nice guy.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 10 July 2007 : 20:11:16
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Just in case you didn't know...
Back in the 30s, when anyone said Goodnight Vienna,...it was mean't to mean 'tough luck...you've had your chips.'
Or, if you like... it's the END, me ol son!
Ho! Ho!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 11 July 2007 : 20:43:13
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What you get for 1 unit of electricity,...about 10p innit!
I'm going to put 2 items on here each time I'm on the site.
I've got to find something to keep this site alive, 'cos I'm fed-up of talking to myself.
Radio 20 hours.
Shaver about 1800 shaves.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 12 July 2007 : 19:23:43
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At roughly 10p per unit.
Iron (hand)...over 2 hours.
Kettle...12 pints of water.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 13 July 2007 : 18:07:51
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Infra-red heater 1kw.........1 hour.
Vacuum cleaner...............2-4 hours. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 14 July 2007 : 15:24:04
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Think I'll stick a few more on.
Battery charger......30 hours.
Can opener....approx 6250 cans.
Carving knife....approx 220 joints.
Coffee percolator.....75 cups.
Blender........500 pints of soup.
Contact Grill....25 well done steaks.
Convector Heater 2kw....half an hour.
Fan Heater 2kw..........half an hour.
Hair drier........3 hours.
Beware the Heaters folks,...they knock the Elect' bill sky-high.
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1905 Posts |
Posted - 14 July 2007 : 22:42:41
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| Hoe muhc dose am eeltirc ciedr prees ues /\ |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 15 July 2007 : 11:09:25
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Electric Cider press?
At a guess,...I would say about 2 minutes.
Too expensive for you Bob!
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 15 July 2007 : 14:47:25
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Cooker Hood.....10 hours.
Extractor Fan...24 hours.
Food Mixer......over 60 cakes.
Light Bulb 100w.. 10 hours.
Microwave 700w...8 chicken pieces.
Water Heater.....3 gallons.
Power drill......4 hours.
3kw Radiant heater...20 minutes.
Record Player.....24 hours.
Spin drier....about 5 weeks laundry.
Sterio system....8 - 10 hours.
Tape Recorder.....over 24 hours.
My tip: Keep a beady eye on anything you use for heating, folks! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 15 July 2007 : 15:46:04
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'ow're iw doin Larry, my young mate!
I've got a change of plans for you today M8. Go get a knife, fork and spoon and a large hot dinner plate. Hold the plate steady. No, tell you what! Liz has just got everything ready, so she will dish it on to the plate for you. She's boiled 3 medium size potatoes, and then split each one in half and put them in the oven till they were nice and crisp. Then a spoonful of peas, and half a dozen brussels sprouts, then some carrots, 2 whopping slices of Welsh beef, and a coating of lovely hot dark brown gravy and mint sauce. She's put a blob of Apple sauce on the edge of the plate,...we do that 'cos we like Apple sauce with any bloomin' meat. She's also plonked a glass of Cranberry Juice on your table. And Apple tart and custard to finish off
So, get stuck into it Larry, We know you've probably had a meal by now, but a youngster like you can find room for more, eh!
Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm spoiling you, aye! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 15 July 2007 : 16:16:55
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Well, I tell you! The world's gone stark raving mad.
We have now got Traffic Wardens on bikes here. They nip around from place to place, sting like wasps, and then pedal off like joy-riders.
Mind, this parking business is a big problem innit. Up to 2 years ago you could sneak a parking spot here in the spot where I hang out with reasonable ease. But now, after about 6 o'clock in the evening you'd have a hell of a job to park a bike even.
And what's it going to be like in, say 10 years time, 'cos there are these days 2 or 3 cars to a house in many areas. And, let's be fair some of the parking restrictions are absolutely ridiculous.
There certainly will have to be some big, big changes. |
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The Gravedigger
Advanced Member
576 Posts |
Posted - 16 July 2007 : 00:17:22
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| Looks like Larry didn't turn up for that dinner Fussy, so if it's still waiting can I have it instead? Don't matter if it's gone a bit cold, I'll stick it in the microwave for a couple of minutes and it'll be as good as new |
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The Gravedigger
Advanced Member
576 Posts |
Posted - 16 July 2007 : 00:18:11
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| Wonder where Larry is though ? Hope he's ok |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 16 July 2007 : 15:15:26
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Yeah, go ahead TG, stick it in the micro' for a couple of minutes.
Hope you enjoy it,...you'll be digging like hell after that Cranberry Juice M8.
I bet Larry will be sick as a budgie when he finds out!
Yeah, hope Larry's OK. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 16 July 2007 : 15:31:29
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Ooooooooh! Know what! I could eat a quarter pound of Turkish Delight right now.
Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 16 July 2007 : 19:18:58
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For 1 unit of electricity.
Hair Rollers......22 hair do's
Health lamp........4 hours
Hot tray...........2 hours
Cooker........1 week's meals for 2 people, 9 units
Dishwasher.....1 full load, 2 units.
Computer.......15-20 hours
So, if you spend about 8 hours a day on this thingy, you are shelling out about a fiver a week from your money box.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 17 July 2007 : 15:46:38
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To 1 Unit of Electricity:
Fridge Freezer....About 2 units per day.
Freezer (upright)...1-2 units per day
Washing Machine...weekly wash 2, about 2 units.
Tea maker.......35 cups of tea.
Television......12 hours.
Toaster.........70 slices of toast.
Tumble Drier....1/2 hour.
That's about it folks,..there ain't any more. If you want to save a few 'bob' I suggest you keep your beady eyes on 2kw and 3kw heaters, and spend less time watching tele and using computers. Ho! Ho! Ho!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 17 July 2007 : 21:17:58
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BOO! |
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1905 Posts |
Posted - 17 July 2007 : 22:39:43
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| hOH Iem fleenig hyrt noe == yuoev neevr oofreed mee aa frre diimner |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 18 July 2007 : 14:24:07
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'iw are 'uuurt now are 'iw!
Well, when my better-half was cooking the dinner on Sunday, you were not to be seen anywhere near here, so I couldn't dish one out to you,
could I 'cos it would have been stone cold by the time you turned up, and that would have been a waste of time and money mun.
Ooooooooh! Doesn't take a lot to 'uuuurt iw, does it!
Ho! Ho! Ho! |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 18 July 2007 : 14:28:21
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woss going on now?
I didn't click those 2 evil b*****s up above. I wonder if Polty is hanging around here again!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 18 July 2007 : 19:18:15
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How's life Fussy?
Fairish I would say,....could be better mind, if at least one of my mates on here would pop in for a chin-wag.
I've just been listening to the news on tele'. It is UNBELIEVABLE that millions of viewers have been robbed, through those phone-in competitions. How on earth can these broadcasting companies have the audacity to do such a vile thing,...and how many millions of pounds are involved??? Crime is rife,...and it's worsening by the minute.
One hell of a 'pickle' innit!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 19 July 2007 : 15:54:53
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Here's something...I bet many of you had not noticed while watching cartoon films....You'll hardly ever (if atall) see the characters with 4 fingers and a thumb,...it's usually just 3 fingers and a thumb.
They say, that omitting the 1 finger saved thousands of pounds worth of time during the production of the art-work.
The same applied to the bare feet.
Disney apparently worked out this theory when drawing Mickey Mouse, way back in the 20s in Hollywood.
Ho! Ho! Ho! I used to like Michael Mouse, in the late 20s. |
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Bob
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
1905 Posts |
Posted - 19 July 2007 : 22:38:17
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| Weel uts goen vrey qiute aruond heer agaym hasmt yt Laaruy dydmt trun yp om SUmdauy amd MsrGemnii semms tpo haev diisaapaered agaum noe / seh dudmt stauy aruomd lomg dud seh |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 19 July 2007 : 23:24:34
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Perhaps they've gone away on holidays.
Anyway, I'm going to have some shut-eye now, 'cos I'm tired. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 20 July 2007 : 21:23:12
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Well, I expect you'll have received my e-mails by now, telling you that I've heard from Pauline,...and thank goodness that she's up and about, even though not in the best of health.
Ooooooh! What's the weather like in Aberdare I wonder??? It's more like the middle of winter innit. Terrible floods in Barry, which makes me think that the flat areas of Aberdare would be flooded.
Have you got a boat Bob?
It's been emptying down here all day, but luckily...no flooding. So far!
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 21 July 2007 : 19:05:16
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Policeman (to pretty young redhead at the wheel of a sports car): I've had my eye on you for some time, miss.
Pretty young redhead: Oh, good! I thought you'd come over to tell me I'd been speeding.
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The Gravedigger
Advanced Member
576 Posts |
Posted - 22 July 2007 : 10:12:31
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| That's such good news about Pauline Not that she's in poor health I mean, but great that you've heard from here and that she's still with us. I was beginning to think something really awful had happened to her. If you're reading this Pauline, get well soon and hurry back |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 July 2007 : 10:58:58
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Yeah, I agree TG. It's great to hear from Pauline and to know that she was able to contact us, even though she sometimes has to put up with being one degree under, and it's not easy to deal with the computer problems when you are situated in the countryside, and with her being on her own. It's a good thing that she's got the animals to help her through her loneliness in that house.
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 July 2007 : 11:15:32
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Ooooooh! It's belting down here again today,...it's coming down like stair-rods. It's bad around your area then TG.
And what's it like in Aberdare I wonder? No word from Bob for a couple of days. I wonder if his cellar is flooded,...perhaps he's got to use a boat to get to the pub.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
And I hope Larry is able to get to his PC today. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 July 2007 : 17:54:26
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Would you believe it,...we've had visitors again this afternoon! It's getting a habit on Sundays now,...think I'll put a notice on the door on Sundays...'Not at home.'
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Ooooh! I'm a bit worried about Larry again today. No sign of him yet.
Perhaps he's flooded, and can't get to his computer. |
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Larry Lamb
Senior Member
1249 Posts |
Posted - 22 July 2007 : 17:57:52
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| Never fear Fussy, I'm here Sorry I missed last week but we had a big job that needed to be finished so I agreed to work through my day off to get it done. I can't say I did it cheerily, but the overtime money came in handy |
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Larry Lamb
Senior Member
1249 Posts |
Posted - 22 July 2007 : 18:04:03
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Just read your earlier posts,I'm so pleased that you've heard from Pauline at last Hope she feels well enough to post a couple of messages soon, the old place is'nt the same without her stories
Those floods have been terrible have'nt they Funnily enough it has'nt been such a bad day here today. It was dry up until about 4.15, then it belted down for a while, but it's been fine again ever since |
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Larry Lamb
Senior Member
1249 Posts |
Posted - 22 July 2007 : 18:17:47
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| I spoke too soon, it's raining again Not very heavy now though, more like a mild drizzle (which is a nice change from the stair-rods we had before) |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 July 2007 : 18:29:01
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Ho! Hoooooo! You made it,...you're not flooded out then Larry.
You missed a cracking dinner last Sunday M8. Never mind, go get your glass, quick. Ok! Blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb, blwb. Sip it slowwwwwwly now, that'll do you the world of good M8, especially in this lousy weather we're having.
What's the weather like down your way? Any flooding?
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 22 July 2007 : 18:34:24
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Well, I be damned...more visitors. Got to go. Be back as soon as I can. |
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Fussy
Baileys Benefactor !
4608 Posts |
Posted - 23 July 2007 : 18:35:23
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Well, what a terrible plight the poor people are in, in the flooded areas. Apart from all the bloomin' topsy turvy lifestyle they are having to put up with,...all those thousands of houses are never going to be the same again because surely the foundation of the properties will be weakened by being saturated in all that water.
How are things in your area TG? Are you affected by all this flooding?
I've been thinking of you today M8. Hope you've escaped it all. |
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Fussy's Likes and Dislikes.
