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Princess Di
Advanced Member
606 Posts |
 Posted - 06 December 2004 : 09:57:34 AM
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How corny are the christmas cracker jokes some years? Can anyone remember any? lets post them on here.
What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells.
Did you hear about the transvestite at the Christmas party?
He wanted to eat, drink, and be Mary.
Christmas is weird. It's the only time of year when we love to sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks.
Merry Christmas :-)
 
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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !
4777 Posts |
Posted - 07 December 2004 : 10:25:06 AM
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FOFL
Here are a few more .
What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail .
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey , he is always stuffed .
What is a hairdressers favourite Christmas song ?
Oh comb all ye faithful .
And what is a rabbits favourite song ?
Lettuce with a gladsome mind .
What is an ig ?
An eskimos home without a loo .
How many chimneys does Santa go down ?
Stacks .
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Princess Di
Advanced Member
606 Posts |
Posted - 15 December 2004 : 12:49:28 PM
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What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan !
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !
What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner ?
"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when " !
What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !
What bird has wings but cannot fly ?
Roast turkey !
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Princess Di
Advanced Member
606 Posts |
Posted - 22 December 2004 : 12:48:12 PM
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Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?
Your teeth !
We had grandma for Christmas dinner ?
Really, we had turkey !
Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations ?
You get tinsel-itus !
What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?
Grave-y !
Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.'That must have cost a fortune!' I said .
'Actually I got it for a poultry amount,' she said.
A man went to a butcher's and saw that the turkeys were 90p a pound. He said to the butcher,
'Do you raise them yourself?''Of course I do,' the butcher replied. 'They were only 50p a pound this morning!'
How do you tell the difference between tinned turkey and tinned custard?
Look at the labels!
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas!
Who made this Christmas pudding?
Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool.What did he use to make it?Elf-raising flour, of course.
Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!
I'd like Father Christmas stew.Er... how do you make Father Christmas stew?
You keep him waiting half an hour!
Is that policeman eating turkey?
No, he's eating truncheon meat.
This turkey's disgusting!
Well, you asked for a foul roast!
This turkey tastes like an old settee.
Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing.
What's brown and creeps around the house?Mince spies!
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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !
4777 Posts |
Posted - 22 December 2004 : 1:36:31 PM
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FOFL ,they are really funny I bet your son told you most of those . My grand children tell me jokes all the time but i'm blowed if I can remember them .
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The Gravedigger
Advanced Member
764 Posts |
Posted - 22 December 2004 : 5:31:42 PM
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* What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? - Frostbite.
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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !
4777 Posts |
Posted - 01 January 2005 : 4:22:04 PM
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Our Christmas Cracker Jokes, they get worse don't they
Why do cows lie down in the rain?
To keep each udder dry .
What do ghosts eat ?
Goulash .
What do you call two robberes ?
A pair of Knickers .
What do you call a train loaded with toffee ?
A chew chew train .
What do hedehogs have for lunch ?
Prickled onions .
What has a bed but does not sleep, and a mouth that does not eat ?
A river .
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Christmas Crackers
