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Greasy Spoons
Starting Member


3 Posts

Posted - 10 September 2005 :  07:50:26 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A man was in a restaurant and he dropped his spoon. The waiter at his
table took another spoon out of his pocket and gave it to the man.
The man said "Thank you", then took a sip of his soup before asking
"Excuse me but why do all the waiters have spoons in their pockets?"
The waiter replied "Well sir a survey in our restaurant showed that
1 in 4 customers drops their spoon just like you, so we give them
the spare instead of either allowing them to eat with the dirty on
or having to walk all the way back to the kitchen for a clean one".
The customer agreed that this made sense,but as the waiter was
walking back to the Kitchen he noticed that there was a string
hanging from his flies and asked "Excuse me again,but why do you
and all the other waiters have a string hanging out of your flies?"
and the waiter replied "Well sir, a survey in our restaurant showed
that the waiters can save time and serve more customers, if we do
not wash our hands after using the toilet, so we use the string tied
to our you-know-what, to pull it out of our trousers and
that way we don't get our hands dirty."
The man then took another sip of his soup before enquiring
"That's all very well, but how do you get it back in again?"
The waiter turned back and smilingly replied
"Well Sir,I don't know about the other waiters,
but speaking for myself I always use the spoon."
. .

Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !



4777 Posts

Posted - 10 September 2005 :  10:10:48 AM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote


That is really funny .

BTW WElcome to the forum .

.
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Pauline
Administrator & Miserable Old Fart !



United Kingdom
2934 Posts

Posted - 15 September 2005 :  5:00:50 PM  Show Profile  Visit Pauline's Homepage Send Pauline a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Erm, well, um, yes ! To be absolutely honest with you I'm not quite sure
WHAT I think of that one BG ! Thank God I never eat in Cafes !

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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !



4777 Posts

Posted - 15 September 2005 :  9:49:00 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
LOL
Yes Pauline it was a bit UUUmmm eeerrr how your father wasn't it .

I will have to remember never to use a spoon in a cafe again .

.
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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !



4777 Posts

Posted - 15 September 2005 :  10:05:54 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Here are a few more down to earth ones .

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days now and I cannot
get through to enquiries , can you help ?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number from sir?"

Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre ".
Operator: "Sir,they are the opening hours ".
------------


Then there was the caller who asked for a Knitwear company in Woven .
Operator: Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes, That's what it says on the label, Woven in Scotland".
------------------


Computer capers
---------------
Tech Support: "I need you to right click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu ?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No"
Tech Support: "OK,sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point ?"

Customer: "Sure. You told me to write "click and I wrote "click"".


.
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Greasy Spoons
Starting Member



3 Posts

Posted - 16 September 2005 :  05:37:42 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
G
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Greasy Spoons
Starting Member



3 Posts

Posted - 16 September 2005 :  05:41:53 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Righto then,if you didn't like the last one try these on instead ----

A man sits down at a table in a small cafe.

The waitress comes over to ask the man what he would like to order.

"I'll have a quicky please." He replies

"How dare you!" she says before she slaps him in the face, turns around and storms off.

Five minutes later, when she has calmed down, she comes back to take his order.

Again the same thing happens.

By this time an elderly lady has come in and sat down at a nearby table.

Resisting the urge to laugh she turns around and says to the man:
"I'll think you'll find it's pronounced quiche!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two cannibals are eating their dinner and one cannnbal says to the other

"I dont like my mother in law much."

The other cannibal replies

"Well, just eat your chips then!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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Pauline
Administrator & Miserable Old Fart !



United Kingdom
2934 Posts

Posted - 20 September 2005 :  2:45:16 PM  Show Profile  Visit Pauline's Homepage Send Pauline a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Yes, those are a lot better (Bob will love the second one ! )

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