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 Giggles Galore !
 Teddy Jokes
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Andy Pandy
Starting Member


24 Posts

Posted - 13 December 2009 :  1:18:48 PM  Show Profile Send Andy Pandy a Private Message  Reply with Quote


A few silly ones for Christmas

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What did the Teddy say when he was offered another mince pie?

No thanks, I'm already stuffed !

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What happens if Teddy cuts himself ?

He runs and runs until he gets a stitch.

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Why do Teddies have fur coats ?

They’d feel silly in plastic macs.

_ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


How do you start a Teddy Bear race?
Ready, Teddy, Go!

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A teddy bear who worked on a building site arrived for work one morning to discover that his pick was missing. He went to see the foreman, who told him, “It’s because today’s the day the Teddy Bears have their picks nicked!”

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And finally a little Teddy Bear poem to bring a tear to your eye -

NEARLY FOUR

A teddy bear sits on a mattress
One glass eye and threadbare paw
Looking at a cuckoo clock
Which shows it's ten to four

Four o'clock is teddy's teatime
Lots of friends and fancy cake
Although it's only pretend eating
Oh how long ten minutes take

Shadows grow on distant hillsides
Orange sun on glassy sea
All in his amber eye reflected
And still ten minutes left 'til tea

The mattress, striped, is old and broken
Rusty springs through stuffing show
The cuckoo clock is also broken
But how's a teddy supposed to know ?

Unaware he's been discarded
That this is not the nursery cot
The hills and sea just glass, old papers
On a disused rubbish plot

A telephone that no one answers
Empty tins that once held tea
The clock that still says nearly teatime
Where can all the children be?

For ages now he's lain unwanted
Saluting with his threadbare paw
He'll never know he's been abandoned
'Til the clock reads after four

Don't tell him that the clock is broken
For as long as teddy doesn't know
It'll always soon be teatime
As it was so long ago.

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Merry Christmas To Everyone










Andy Pandy

Larry Lamb
Senior Member



2359 Posts

Posted - 13 December 2009 :  4:54:59 PM  Show Profile  Visit Larry Lamb's Homepage Send Larry Lamb a Private Message  Reply with Quote
The jokes are funny Andy m8 but that blooming poem almost broke my heart

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Bob.
Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !



2436 Posts

Posted - 14 December 2009 :  6:55:27 PM  Show Profile  Visit Bob.'s Homepage Send Bob. a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Roevr creid hys eyus oyt atfre raedimg ut

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F ussy
Baileys Benefactor !



5935 Posts

Posted - 20 December 2009 :  5:56:02 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote



Nice one, Andy!......Any more M8?

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crazynance
Advanced Member



Canada
536 Posts

Posted - 21 January 2010 :  9:32:09 PM  Show Profile  Visit crazynance's Homepage Send crazynance a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I've just run out of tissues, thank you very much. Poor ol' Ted. He always get loved furless, and then left behind. :(

Loved the nicked picks joke, and put it on my facebook page.

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