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13 Posts

Posted - 10 September 2003 :  05:03:01 AM  Show Profile Send SandS a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Woof Woof. Arf Arf. Yip Yip. Yoooooooooooooowl.
Which, roughly translated, means Good Luck with your new Chat Line.

Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !

4777 Posts

Posted - 11 September 2003 :  12:05:54 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
What is the difference between a new partner and a new dog ?
After a year the dog is still glad to see you .

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13 Posts

Posted - 11 September 2003 :  5:10:55 PM  Show Profile Send SandS a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Here's a little contribution from us:


1. No one expects you to take a bath every day.
2. Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner or
anything else for that matter.
3. When it's raining, you can lie around the house all day and never
worry about being fired.
4. If it itches, you can reach it.
5. And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it
in public.
6. It doesn't bother you if your favorite television show is a
7. You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you're insensitive.
8. April 15 means nothing to you.
9. People at drive-through windows never charge you for treats.
10. Your friends don't think less of you for passing gas.
11. A rawhide bone can entertain you for hours.
12. No one gets mad if you fall asleep while they're talking.
13. As an adult, it's OK if you haven't "amounted to anything"
except being a dog.
14. The older you get, the more people respect you.
15. You can sleep late every day.
16. If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.
17. You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger's
18. There's no such thing as bad food.
19. You don't have to worry about good table manners.
20. Someone else combs your hair.
21. People think you're normal if you stick your head out the
window to feel the wind in your hair.
22. You're always excited to see the same old people.
23. Having big feet is considered an asset.
24. If you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.
25. Everything smells good to you.
26. A garbage can is a fast-food stop.
27. No one tells you to wipe your nose because it's wet.
28. No matter where you live, you own the place.
29. Your mate never complains because you whine.
30. Puppy love can last.

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2606 Posts

Posted - 13 September 2003 :  12:21:49 AM  Show Profile Send n/a/1 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Here is one for S & S to chuckle over!

The Karate Dog

Harold's new job had him working really late. He decides to get his wife a watchdog. He goes to the pet store and asks for a doberman.

The employee said, "If its a guard dog you want I have a dog just for you."

The man walks to the back of the store to get a dog and comes back with a little poodle.

Harold says, "This small thing, a watch dog? You're kidding, right?"

The employee says, "No, this dog is special - he knows karate."

"Karate? I don't believe it," Harold says.

The employee puts the dog down and says, "Karate the sign." And he points to a sign advertising dog food.

The dog runs up and rips the sign to shreds. Harold is amazed at this.

The employee then says, "Karate the chair." And he points to a chair in the corner.

The dog runs up and rips the chair to shreds. By now Harold is convinced.

"I'll take him," he says.

When he gets home he surprises his wife and she yells out, "This little thing, a watch dog? No way!!!!"

Harold says "But this dog knows karate."

"Karate," she yells. "Karate my ass!"

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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !

4777 Posts

Posted - 13 September 2003 :  11:46:21 AM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
FOFL .I like it ,I like it .

A few more daft ones here .

What kind of dog does a vampire prefer ?
Any kind of bloodhound .

What do you call a happy Lassie ?
A Jollie collie .

What do you get if you cross a sheep dog with a rose ?
A Collie flower .

Why did the poor dog chase his own tail ?
He was trying to make both ends meet .

What do you call a nutty dog in Australia ?
A dingo-ling .

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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !

4777 Posts

Posted - 15 September 2003 :  7:08:09 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I have just seen on the news that they are running races for two dogs and their owner in the Forest of Dean.
You have to tie the two dog leads onto your waist , and with the dogs running in the lead they pull you along a bit like huskies pulling a sledge ,you have to run like hell of course ,they don't pull you along on your bottom .

Do you want me to enter you and Sophie and Sadie for one of the race .

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Administrator & Miserable Old Fart !

United Kingdom
2943 Posts

Posted - 15 September 2003 :  10:33:59 PM  Show Profile  Visit Pauline's Homepage Send Pauline a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Er, thanks all the same BG, but I think I'll pass on that one !
In the first place, if I tied these two to me they would be more likely to jump all over me than run. But if they DID run they would almost certainly run in opposite directions and I can't be in two places at once ! LOL

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