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The Gravedigger
Advanced Member


764 Posts

Posted - 10 May 2005 :  10:56:22 PM  Show Profile  Visit The Gravedigger's Homepage  Send The Gravedigger a Yahoo! Message Send The Gravedigger a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I`m sitting here at a loose end with nothing to do,no-one to talk to and I`m bored stiff,so I thought I'd post a few very serious burning questions that have confused humankind for yonks!!!!!

Q.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Q.. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

Q.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Q.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Q.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Q.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Q.. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Q.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Q.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Q.. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Q.. What do you call male ballerinas?

Q.. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

Q.. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why
didn't he just buy dinner?

Q.. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Q.. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Q.. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Q.. Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

Q.. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

Q.. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Q.. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Q.. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

Q.. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?



The Gravedigger
Advanced Member



764 Posts

Posted - 10 May 2005 :  11:03:10 PM  Show Profile  Visit The Gravedigger's Homepage  Send The Gravedigger a Yahoo! Message Send The Gravedigger a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Yep,I know,sorry,but I told you I was bored didn`t I !!!!!! Boredom rots the brain


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Moonraker
Senior Member



1024 Posts

Posted - 14 May 2005 :  11:09:28 AM  Show Profile Send Moonraker a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Gravedigger,
I'm having a day off from painting, cleaning, changing electrical fittings, etc in my daughters new flat, so I took the time to look up a few answers to your questions. I would hate to think of you going through life with these things playing on your mind.

Q1. It was not me , it was an udder person..

Q2. I can't remember his mane, but he was chasing the chicken, hoping to kill it for his dinner, when the "Egg" fell from the chicken. As he was not gaining on the chicken and was out of breath he took the second option and ate the egg.

Q3. ?????

Q4. The little man that switches the light on and off, cannot live in the frezzer as it's too cold.

Q5. ?????

Q6. ?????

Q7. He was a Professor of electronics not boat building.

Q8. I do.

Q9. ????

Q10. It's evolution M8.

Q11. Male Ballerinas.

Q12. Yes.

Q13. Maybe he had shares in "Acme".

Q14. A load of b***s.

Q15. ????

Q16. and maybe Protons come from ladies of the night.

Q17. Yes.

Q18. Because the composer was not very musical.

Q19. No. What is more mine is uaually cold by the time I know what i'm eating.

Q20. Because if they called it an "Asteroid" when it was in your ass, it would be one big ass.

Q21. Ever thought that your breath smells.

Q22. No but you feel better when you arrive, except for your finger that you used to push the button.


Hope these answers help you get through life.
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