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BigBrother
Advanced Member

United Kingdom
531 Posts

Posted - 16 October 2003 :  4:25:45 PM  Show Profile  Send BigBrother a Yahoo! Message Send BigBrother a Private Message  Reply with Quote
A posh hotel holds three weddings on the same day and at the end of the night the 3 grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events over a couple of beers. one questions the other 2, " listen, it's our wedding night and i was wondering - how many times are we expected to ...um..you know...do it?". Eventually, they all decide to retire to their respective wives and see how the night goes, with the idea to meet up the following morning over breakfast to discuss what went on. Suddenly, one of the grooms pipes up "Hold on lads, we can't discuss our first night of marital goings on over the breakfast table with our new wives sat with us".
" No, you're right. What we'll do then, is for every piece of toast we order with our breakfast, that'll be the amount of times we did it" offers another groom. They all decide it's an excellent idea and depart.
The next day in the hotel dining room, the grooms are all looking a bit dishevelled, but that's nothing compared to the brides, who can barely stagger across the room to their tables. The waitress comes up to the first groom to take his order - " Hello, I'll have the full English breakfast with THREE pieces of toast please". The other two grooms smile at him and raise a glass of orange juice in a toast to his fantastic prowess. The waitress moves to the second couple, and the groom orders, " I too shall have the full english breakfast, but could I have FOUR pieces of toast".
The waitress gets to the last groom" i shall also have the full english breakfast please, yet I shall have..." he takes a deep breath" SEVEN yes SEVEN pieces of toast" he calls for everyones benefit, whilst giving a big cheesy grin to his two wedding mates, who stare at him in disbelief at the thought of how raw his old chap must be.
"seven pieces of toast sir?" queries the waitrss. " Why that's an awful lot?". " Yes indeed young lady, seven pieces of toast it is." She writes down his order and turns away, but before she can leave, the groom calls after her againn. " And by the way love, can you make two of those brown?"


Quote Of The DayMy god, Vanessa's got a fabulous body... I bet she shags like a minx.
--Austin Powers

Pauline
Administrator & Miserable Old Fart !



United Kingdom
2934 Posts

Posted - 16 October 2003 :  5:15:57 PM  Show Profile  Visit Pauline's Homepage Send Pauline a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I shall now retire to my armchair with a book which might hopefully explain to me what that means ! ! ! !

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Gemini
Intermediate Member

256 Posts

Posted - 16 October 2003 :  5:46:56 PM  Show Profile  Send Gemini a Yahoo! Message Send Gemini a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Clueless please don't encourage him......

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Moonraker
Senior Member



1024 Posts

Posted - 16 October 2003 :  6:34:04 PM  Show Profile Send Moonraker a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Clueless have you really got that sort of book?

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Pauline
Administrator & Miserable Old Fart !



United Kingdom
2934 Posts

Posted - 16 October 2003 :  7:09:20 PM  Show Profile  Visit Pauline's Homepage Send Pauline a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Probably not Moonraker, it all depends. ( What sort of book am I likely to need ?)

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BigBrother
Advanced Member

United Kingdom
531 Posts

Posted - 16 October 2003 :  10:06:16 PM  Show Profile  Send BigBrother a Yahoo! Message Send BigBrother a Private Message  Reply with Quote
uh oh! what have I started.....


Quote Of The DayIf you're going through hell, keep going.
--Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) British Statesman, Prime Minister, Author

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BigBrother
Advanced Member

United Kingdom
531 Posts

Posted - 16 October 2003 :  10:10:51 PM  Show Profile  Send BigBrother a Yahoo! Message Send BigBrother a Private Message  Reply with Quote
MR, are you trying to get me into trouble?


Quote Of The DayIf you're going through hell, keep going.
--Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) British Statesman, Prime Minister, Author

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BigBrother
Advanced Member

United Kingdom
531 Posts

Posted - 16 October 2003 :  10:11:22 PM  Show Profile  Send BigBrother a Yahoo! Message Send BigBrother a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I've just had a slap off Gemini now


Quote Of The DayIf you're going through hell, keep going.
--Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) British Statesman, Prime Minister, Author

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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !



4777 Posts

Posted - 16 October 2003 :  11:08:47 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Good job MR has gone to bed or he would get a slap as well,he is old enough to know better,he should not encourage you young ones to be wicked .

Anyway Clueless I think you will need a book of the top shelf . LOL Hee Hee Hee .

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Pauline
Administrator & Miserable Old Fart !



United Kingdom
2934 Posts

Posted - 17 October 2003 :  01:22:14 AM  Show Profile  Visit Pauline's Homepage Send Pauline a Private Message  Reply with Quote
All I've got on MY top shelf is The Canterbury Tales ( which I've never got around to reading ) a two-volume set of The Oxford Anthology of Great English Poetry and a complete set of Jane Austen ( all in matching red bindings !) and somehow I don't think she'd be much help !

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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !



4777 Posts

Posted - 17 October 2003 :  6:17:43 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Clueless
Nice collection of books you have there , but I don't think they will be any use .

I'm afraid you will have to go to the top shelf in the Newsagents . LOL

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n/a/1
deleted



2606 Posts

Posted - 18 October 2003 :  12:42:07 PM  Show Profile Send n/a/1 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
BB you are naughty!



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Pauline
Administrator & Miserable Old Fart !



United Kingdom
2934 Posts

Posted - 18 October 2003 :  5:17:11 PM  Show Profile  Visit Pauline's Homepage Send Pauline a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oh well ! Since everybody else seems to understand it except me I guess Clueless isn't such a bad choice of name for me !

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