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 The month after crimbo
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n/a/1
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2606 Posts

Posted - 23 January 2004 :  08:29:04 AM  Show Profile Send n/a/1 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
T'was the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The biscuits I'd nibbled, the champagne I'd taste
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never say, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend all Summer disguised as a man!"

So-away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food, that I like, must be banished.
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a biscuit, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot scones, or cake, or fruit pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore,
But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to laugh, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!








Pauline
Administrator & Miserable Old Fart !



United Kingdom
2964 Posts

Posted - 23 January 2004 :  09:05:45 AM  Show Profile  Visit Pauline's Homepage Send Pauline a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Here's another one about dieting for you:-

---------------------------------------------

Diet Facts

A diet is a weigh of life.

It's not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it's the seconds.

It's something most of us do religiously: We eat what we want and pray we don't gain weight.

The problem with curbing our appetites is that most of us do it at the drive in window of McDonalds.

The most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae is a spoon.

The biggest drawback to fasting for seven days is that it makes one weak.

Sweets are the destiny that shapes our ends.

Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.

Diets are for women who not only kept their girlish figure, but doubled it.

A diet is when you have to go to some length to change your width.

Many women reduce and reduce, yet still never manage to become a bargain.

The best way to lose weight is by skipping ... snacks and desert.

Most people gain weight by having intimate dinners for two...alone.

People go to Weight Watchers to learn their lessens.

A diet is the modern-day meal in which a family counts its calories instead of its blessings.

A diet is what you go on when not only can't you fit into the store's dresses, you can't fit into the dressing room.

One guideline applies to fat and thin people alike: If you're thin, don't eat fast. If you're fat, don't eat - FAST.

Above all, dieters are advised to avoid Pepsi, "the pause that refleshes."


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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !



4777 Posts

Posted - 23 January 2004 :  12:45:22 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Some good ones there ladies .

Why is it we always start our diets at the most miserable cold depressing time of the year .A time when all we want to do is eat lots of lovely food to warm us and cheer us up ,and sit curled up on the sofa infront of the TV and eat goodies.

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