Administrator & Miserable Old Fart !
Posted - 29 January 2004 : 04:40:24 AM
Blondes on the Computer.
One day, a blonde walked out to her mailbox, checked it, and then went back inside. Then, ten minutes later, she did the same thing. After another ten, she did it again. And again after another ten. This continued all afternoon. Finally, she stopped and scratched her head. "That's strange. The computer keeps saying I have mail."
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's typ-ex all over the screen.
Q: What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?
A: She sticks it in the microwave.
Three Blondes And The Mug Shot.
Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect.
The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.
"Easy," she replied. "He only has one eye." The chief was stunned. "He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!"
He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him. "He only has one ear," was her answer. "What is the matter with you people? It's a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!"
He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, "How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer."
After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, "He's wearing contact lenses."
This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses!
He went back to her and asked, "How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!"
"Well," she said, "he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?"