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Rob
Intermediate Member


472 Posts

Posted - 28 November 2003 :  8:24:15 PM  Show Profile Send Rob a Private Message  Reply with Quote
AUTO REPAIR

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is
idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I
wish you guys would get your act together. Yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

EXPOSURE

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says,
"Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out." he says . She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the
river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "'We were the first in space!" The American said,
"We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads. You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid,

IN A VACUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINAL EXAM

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the
examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a
coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the
coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an
hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a
local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note: "I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed,
The Blonde."

She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"


After all that, I'm going to change my hair colour permenantly!

Rob

Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !



4777 Posts

Posted - 28 November 2003 :  11:58:08 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Some good ones there Rob.
When we meet on the 6th I'll expect your hair to be brown then .LOL

Thank gawd my hairs brown , well sort of brown with grey streaks .

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Rob
Intermediate Member



472 Posts

Posted - 29 November 2003 :  12:31:46 AM  Show Profile Send Rob a Private Message  Reply with Quote
No, BG, your hair isn't brown with grey streaks. It's brown with GREY HIGHLIGHTS.

Rob
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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !



4777 Posts

Posted - 29 November 2003 :  1:46:27 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Rob
If that is the case ,then I think I have gone a bit over the top with the Grey Highlights .

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Rob
Intermediate Member



472 Posts

Posted - 29 November 2003 :  2:25:29 PM  Show Profile Send Rob a Private Message  Reply with Quote
BG, never, ever blame yourself when it comes to products to high-/lowlight or dye your hair.

If anything whatsoever goes wrong or if the results don't turn out as you expected, just say 'Well, I followed the instructions on the packeting to the letter.' and let the makers of the product take the blame!

Remember, always be one step ahead!

Rob
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Beacon Girl
A Fiery Female !



4777 Posts

Posted - 29 November 2003 :  3:22:53 PM  Show Profile Send Beacon Girl a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Can I then blame the manufacturers in the same way for me putting on weight , as it is their fault for putting too much sugar and fat in the food I love , I follow the instruction to the letter ,trouble is I do it twice over to make sure I did it right the firt time .LOL

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Rob
Intermediate Member



472 Posts

Posted - 29 November 2003 :  7:56:04 PM  Show Profile Send Rob a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Not your fault whatsoever, BG. It's not your fault whatsoever you always add that 'little' bit extra just to make sure you've got it right. Where do you see on the packages that you can ONLY put one teaspoon of sugar into your tea or coffee, or that you can only fry/roast your joints of meat in a tablespoon of oil or fat -- you don't.

Besides, it's the manufacturers who put the bulk of the fats and sugars in in the first place.

As I said before, it's never your fault.

Rob
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