Devout Dipsomaniac & Technological TWIT !
Posted - 16 January 2004 : 6:14:01 PM
I < snukeed im tp ABredaeromlien fir a quack pweep wehn AMderw wasent lokking amd iI nucked thus poostnig becuaes I lieked ut amd ut maed meeee luahg ;
Things to ponder 15 January 2004
A stitch in time saves nine what?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Why are violets blue and not violet?
Why aren’t there ever any guilty bystanders?
Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free?
Why can’t you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on?
Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed? Do they feel perhaps they’ll need an alibi?
Why do pigs have curly tails?
Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?
Why do they call the piece of wood a two-by-four if it's only 1 3/4" x 3 1/2"?
Why do they make cars go so fast its illegal?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?
Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?
Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?
Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?
Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?
Why does a grapefruit look nothing like a grape?
Why don’t they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
Why don’t you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman’s chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles?
Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?